


My Heart is on That Ship

by 852_Prospect_Archivist



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Alternate Universes, Drama, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1999-04-25
Updated: 1999-04-25
Packaged: 2017-12-11 03:30:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/793519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/852_Prospect_Archivist/pseuds/852_Prospect_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a result of what happened when I saw the movie "Titanic" on New Years Eve 1997.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Heart is on That Ship

**Author's Note:**

> Death story? Yes but it's a happy ending. Trust me.

## My Heart is on That Ship

by Little Eva

Author's disclaimer: All characters, etc...all of them in the world of The Sentinel are owned by Pet Fly Productions & UPN. I've just taken them out of the toy box to play and I promise to put them back when I'm done, because I'm a good girl and I always put my toys away. 

The title is a line from "Heart Like a Wheel" by Kate & Anna McGarrigle 

* * *

April, 1912 

Blair Sandburg had never felt so alone in his life. Even though he stood surrounded by people all trying to get onto the great ship his heart was somewhere inside his shoes. He felt so heavy and dead inside that he would have stayed rooted in that spot, if his man Ryf hadn't nudged him. 

"Mr. Sandburg the ship's going to sail without us if we don't hurry." 

Blair sighed. Would that be so bad if the goddamn ship Titanic on its way to New York sailed without him? Naomi, his mother would say something like, "Blair just needs to stay in Europe a while longer, sow his wild oats." His father, Parker Sandburg would not agree. "One year is quite enough time to sow wild oats in Europe. It's about time the boy came home, married and grew up." 

Grew up, huh? Blair thought. As if going to Oxford to study anthropology, and taking a trip to Egypt were the exploits of a boy. Parker believed that making money and babies were the true measure of a man. So, he'd arranged a marriage between Blair and a woman he didn't know named Samantha Tyler. Blair had only seen a photograph of her, a nice looking woman with long dark hair and a predatory grin. A grin that said, "I am going to marry into one of the most wealthy families in New York...a family with a name and a tradition behind it...not just new money." Blair's family had been in America for over a century. One of his ancestors had even served in the American Revolution, under General George Washington himself. 

"Mr. Sandburg?" Ryf said. 

Blair looked at his man who was looking up at the gang plank. People were starting to board the Titanic now. "Well it's now or never, huh, Ryf?" 

"Yes sir." 

The house man, about ten years older than his young master, carried only half of the bags, Blair insisted on carrying the other half himself. Ryf liked the spirited young man. He never thought himself above anyone just because he was born rich. "A pure accident of birth," he'd say. Ryf knew of men who worked for bosses who were far more tyranical and considered himself lucky. 

They were shown to their quarters and Blair sighed sadly as he looked at the master bedroom. "What a goddamn waste. I mean, do we really need all of this, Ryf? And I know the people in third class are living like slaves. It's actually because of fear. Wealthy people, because of their money feel secretly guilty at the conditions of people less fortunate than themselves. So, in order not to face that guilt, they separate themselves their fellows...I'm sorry Ryf, I'm teaching again, aren't I?" 

"Yes you are Professor. But it's always a pleasure listening to you." Ryf truly meant that because he knew Blair meant every word he said. 

Blair heavily sat down on the bed and sighed. "I wish I could get my Ph.D., go off on expeditions to Africa and Asia, teach in Oxford and never, NEVER have to marry anyone!" 

Ryf laughed. He'd been Blair Sandburg's man ever since he was twenty, eight years ago. In that time he'd noticed that Blair enjoyed the company of men much more than that of women. If Blair escorted a lady anyplace it was because his father or one of his uncles arranged it. In Oxford Blair had a roommate, a young man studying English literature...Ryf clearly remembered that his name was Fox. 

"Well, those are the burdens of being an heir Mr. Sandburg." 

Blair just rolled his eyes. "And I care nothing about business...and...and..." Blair reached up to scratch his head. He pulled off the leather band that held back his long, dark curls. "...and I know he'll make me cut this...." he gestured to his hair. "But if I were a professor, I wouldn't have to...I could even grow a long beard!" 

Ryf started to unpack. "It wouldn't do your face justice Sir." 

Blair fell back on the bed. "Fox thought it might look sexy." 

"You have to trim beards, Mr. Sandburg." 

"I guess. You know, Ryf..." The younger man's voice became strangely serious. "When I....marry...you'll stay with me? I mean if you left...I'd...I don't know what I'd do." 

Ryf turned around. "You will be the man of the house, Sir. It will be your household to do with as you please. You could even put Miss Samantha in the stable if you wish." 

That made Blair laugh. "Perhaps I'll do that." 

"After you produce an heir yourself, Sir." 

That made Blair grimace. "Yes, forgot about that." 

The horn sounded, to let the passengers know that the ship was pulling out. "Do you want to go up on deck sir?" 

Blair shook his head. "No...too depressing. Perhaps I'll stay here until we reach New York. That way I don't have to talk to anybody who might know my father...or know about my stupid engagement." 

"As you wish sir, but I hear this ship's a beauty." 

"They say its unsinkable. Now, that's the stupidest thing I heard. I mean how can anything made of iron be unsinkable...all you need would be enough water and...Sorry I'm doing it again." 

"Yes you are Professor," and Ryf smiled. 

The suitcases and trunks were unpacked. The clothes were hanging up in the closets. Dinner had been served and eaten and night was falling. Jim Ellison looked across the sitting room at his wife Carolyn who stood stareing into nothingness. Jim slowly made his way to his wife's side and gently placed his hands on her shoulders. Carolyn flinched and moved away. 

"I didn't know my touch repelled you so," he said. 

Carolyn looked at her husband. She shook her head. "I just don't appreciate it when you pretend, James." 

"Pretend? I wasn't pretending anything?" 

She sighed loudly and sat down in one of the many chairs in the room. "You know as well as I do James that this entire jaunt, as you call it, to Europe was..." 

"...A second honeymoon." 

Now Carolyn's heartrate increased as well as her breathing and Jim smiled. Carolyn stared at her husband and knew that he knew exactly what she was feeling despite her smile. "There ought to be a cure of those overactive senses of yours." She waved her hand in the air. "The trip to Europe was nothing but a charade. You know it and so do I James." 

James pulled a chair over and sat near his wife. "Maybe...maybe I could go see a doctor...someone...Carolyn..." 

"A doctor? Oh James don't be silly. You can't help what you feel towards me, no more than you can help those senses of yours." She smiled. "When I told my father that I was going to marry James Joseph Ellison, he nearly had a fit. Never mind that you struck gold...a lot of gold in California... you were just not...what did he call you? Husband material. I was in love and I didn't care what he thought. But now I know he was right. I used to think it was me...that I couldn't...please you..." 

"Carolyn," Jim put his hand on her shoulder. "I love you, you know that. That's why we agreed to go to Europe, to give our marriage a second chance." 

Carolyn took Jim's hand in hers and kissed it. "I would do anything James Ellison, to make you desire me." Jim looked away. Carolyn continued. "We both know that's not possible." 

Jim rubbed his eyes. "These unnatural desires will be the death of me!" He shouted so loud, his ears hurt from his own voice. 

Carolyn flinched knowing what her husband must have just heard. "Society may call them unnatural James but to you they're just as easy as breathing. I love you so much James...I..." 

"Then let's try again." 

She shook her head. "I can't. I can't stand feeling rejected, unloved, undesirable." 

Jim rose and crossed the room not looking at his wife. "You're none of those things." 

"I am to you James." 

Jim still didn't turn around. "What do you want me to do Carolyn. I'll do anything you ask." 

Carolyn rose then took a deep breath. Jim heard her heart rate increase again. He gripped the mantle and waited. 

"James, I need to say something to you...I...I wanted to tell you before we left America but...I knew how much this trip meant to you and...I guess I was just hopeful too. James I...I love you with all my heart but...I can't go on living this way...I...I want a divorce." 

At that final word, Jim turned around suddenly and stared at his wife. "Divorce," was all he could say. 

She nodded. "I don't want anything from you James. It's not as if there are children to support," she tried to smile. Jim looked down, knowing he was the main cause of that fact. 

"Divorce? Your father...what will he say? If you go back to Boston..." 

"I have no intention of going back to Boston, James." Now Carolyn's voice was clear, crisp. Jim stared at her, looking into her dark eyes which seemed so deep, so bottomless. He blinked and concentrated also on the gentle moving of the ship. 

"No intention," was all he could get out. He couldn't stop staring into her eyes. 

Carolyn, fearing the icy glare backed away. "James...I'm sorry...I...I..." 

"What?" he said more impaitent than angry. His wife wanted a divorce and she wanted to explain? 

"I'm in love with someone else," she whispered. She knew Jim heard her voice as if she were speaking out loud. A whisper just seemed more appropriate. 

"Someone else?" Jim's eyes turned from ice into fire. He strode across the room until he faced his wife. Tears now streamed from Carolyn's face. "Do I know him?" Jim said. 

Carolyn continued to cry and she placed her hands up to her face. Jim glared at her and heard the gruff voice of his father: "A man's got to beat his woman until she obeys!" Right father, that's why mother left. 

Jim tried to take deep breaths but he didn't make it. He grabbed Carolyn's shoulders. "WHO IS HE!" 

"Stephen...." she sobbed. 

Jim let go of her suddenly, causing her to fall against the wall, where she sank to the floor. "Stephen! My brother Stephen! You've been having an affair with my brother! You Jezebel!" 

Carolyn's eyes opened wide and she looked up at her husband. "What did you call me!" She slowly pulled herself up until she was standing once again. "How dare you call me names James Ellison!" 

"Well, what kind of a woman sleeps with her husband's own brother!" Stephen was younger than Jim. He now owned a small business that he'd started with Jim's help. Stephen would have been quite content to work for someone else, until Jim struck gold and their lives changed forever. Stephen lived with them in San Francisco. 

"I've not slept with him James." 

Jim rolled his eyes as if he didn't believe her. "James, I was lonely, I needed someone...someone to make me feel like a woman..." 

Jim raised an eyebrow. "I thought you said you've never slept with him, Carolyn." 

"I haven't James. There are ways a man can make a woman feel cherished and loved, without sex." 

Jim sighed. He wanted to rage, shout, call Carolyn a slut, a whore, throw her off the ship right now. He knew though that her falling in love with Stephen was as much his fault as theirs. Jim and Carolyn had been married for three years, they slept in separate rooms. Jim had made love to Carolyn maybe ten times in those three years and that was usually when he was drunk or when he was aroused becaue of some man he'd just seen. 

"So, what am I supposed to do Carolyn? Give you a divorce and you and Stephen can live happily ever after under my roof?" 

She shook her head. "Stephen is prepared to leave, and so am I James. It wouldn't be proper all of us living together." 

The irony of what she just said caused Jim to laugh. "And you're always so proper, aren't you?" 

Carolyn sighed. "At least I don't fall in love with members of my own sex, James." Jim looked up at his wife who's face softened quickly. "I'm sorry James...I didn't mean it." 

But Jim shook his head. "Yes, you meant it. You meant every word. Now I'm tired and I'm going to bed." Jim walked toward the door. 

"James. We need to talk some more about..." 

"I'm done talking, Carolyn," Jim said without looking at his wife. 

"Jim..." 

"I'm going to bed now. We'll talk some other time." 

"When James? After work, the next poker game?" 

Jim Ellison turned his head and met his wife's eyes for a second. He then turned around and walked into his bedroom closing the door behind him. 

"I still love you James Ellison and I hope you find what you're looking for," Carolyn whispered knowing her husband could hear her anyway. 

* * *

The next morning Blair was sitting in the dining room trying to concentrate on his coffee while Ryf smiled at him. The only way the servant was able to get his charge out of his quarters and among people was to promise Blair that he'd have breakfast with him. Blair's eyes narrowed as he watched all the smartly dressed rich people making polite conversation. 

"Just look at them Ryf, like a bunch of overstuffed peacocks. These people are so boring I'm surprised they can stand themselves. And you know what, they're going to have the same conversations all during this voyage." 

"Sir, why don't you simply study them?" 

Blair's eyes widened. "Study them?" 

"Of couse, like one of your African tribes." 

Blair laughed so much he nearly spit out his coffee. "Ryf, that's a spendid idea. That's the only way I'll be able to endure this ordeal." With that, Blair began to look around the room. Suddenly he noticed a perky redhead looking at him. She was seated with two older women. She grinned broadly and waved to him. One of the older women gently slapped her hand. The redhead blushed and looked down. 

"Who is she, Ryf? The forward redhead." Blair never quite understood how, no matter where they were, Ryf knew the historys and scandals of whomever was around. 

"Her name is Cassandra O'Brian, but her family calls her Cassie. New money you can tell. I think that's her mother and aunt with her. Cassie is unmarried and, as some would say, is on the make." 

"You can tell." Blair continued to look around at the people, all of whom who looked uniformily bored and pompus. Suddenly his eyes fell on a man who walked into the room, with a woman beside him. The man was tall with short brown hair and blue eyes. He had a strong jaw and though he wore a jacket, Blair could see that he was very well built. 

"Oh, my God," Blair whispered. 

Ryf looked in the direction of his boss's eyes. "Ah," the manservant said, "James Joseph Ellison, found gold in California a few years ago. New money." 

Blair could only stare. 

"Mr. Sandburg. Do you see that woman with him?" 

"Could be his sister." 

"It's his wife. Though from what I've heard, the marraige isn't too happy." 

Blair looked at his servant and tried to hide the smile in his eyes. "Really? That's too bad." 

Jim Ellison checked the room and tried to filter out all the mindless chatter he heard. Carolyn properly held his arm as they walked. 

"Let's sit by the window James," she said. 

Jim just nodded and sat at a table with a middle aged couple. Jim didn't catch their names as introductions were made, but he smiled politely before picking up the menu. As Jim looked at the choices, none of which seemed appitizing, he heard a strangely accelerated heartbeat along with a scent that Jim could only discribe as tart and tangy. Jim put down the menu and looked in the direction of that heartbeat and scent. 

Suddenly, his eyes fell on what had to be the most beautiful young man he'd ever seen. He was dressed like every other man in the room, but Jim noticed a difference. For one his hair was long, Jim could tell that even though the young man wore it back, it was also wavy, probably even curly. Many women probably envied that hair. His blue eyes were as beautiful, as clear as the sky itself his lips full and sensual. The young man was staring at him and Jim's heart nearly jumped out of his chest. His vision focused on those eyes, those lips, that angelic face. There was no mistaking the look either. A man who had tastes such as Jim always recognized those same tastes in other men. Suddenly the talking in the room stopped, all the people disappeared. The only people in the room were himself and that angel before him. 

Carolyn stopped talking to their dining companions when she noticed her husand didn't respond to a question. She looked at him then looked in the direction of his gaze. Carolyn saw the beautiful young man seated with an older man, probably his servant. She squeezed her husband's arm. "James," she whispered in his ear. 

Jim blinked and frowned on hearing his wife's voice loud in his ear. He looked around and quickly recovered himself. "I'm sorry. I was just thinking..." 

Carolyn smiled at the other couple, who looked quite confused at her husband. "My husband can actually concentrate on a thought so much that he simply forgets everything else." 

The man smiled. "I suppose that's how you found all that gold Mr. Ellison." 

Jim just nodded. "Yes," was all he could get out. He took a sip of his coffee but it was the wrong temperature to cure the raging erection that he now had. He quickly took a long swollow of water. "Thirsty," was his only explanation. 

Blair turned to Ryf. "Did you see that Ryf? Did you see how he looked at me?" Blair's face was flushed, his pupils were dialated and Ryf was afraid the young man might faint. 

"Yes Sir, I did." 

"Why...he looked at me as if...as if he knows what I look like naked." Now Blair was truly blushing. 

"Sir..." 

Blair shook his head. "That is not proper behaivor for a married man. Oh I know his type Ryf. He's the type who has a wife and a lover as well. That is a practice I do not believe in. If you take vows you are supposed to keep them." 

"Yes Sir," Ryf said without feeling. 

"I'm not hungry anymore, Ryf. I'm ready to leave." 

Jim watched as the angel left the room with his servant. It took everything he had not to bolt out of his seat and follow the young man. The woman seated with them smiled. "He does have the face of an angel," she grinned. Her husband sighed. 

Jim blinked quickly. "Who?" Carolyn said. 

"Young Blair Sandburg of course. He reminds me of one of those cherubs that you see in cathedrals. Cupid perhaps." 

Carolyn looked at the young man. "Sandburg. Is he a Jew?" 

"Oh, heavens no," Laura said. "His father belongs to the First Presbyterian Church in New York City. I believe their ancestors were probably Jewish, but they're long dead now. He is a beautiful boy." 

Her husband shook his head. "Admire all you want now Laura, the young man is engaged to be married." 

Jim's heart sank. Laura smiled. "An arranged marriage my dear and we all know what happens with them." 

"Fifty fifty," Jim said to himself. 

Outside on the deck, Ryf found a chair for Blair to sit in. The young man sat, quickly put on his glasses and picked up an anthropology book he'd brought from his room. Ryf was about to ask if Blair was comfortable, when the forward redhead and one of the older ladies she was with appeared suddenly. 

"Good morning Mr. Sandburg, my name is Elaine O'Brian and this is my daughter Cassie." Elaine O'Brian was tall and thin, her hair was obviously dyed red (no way a woman her age had that color naturally), and she wore too much make up. 

Blair, still reeling over the incident in the dining room was speechless for the first time in his life and quite unable to take Cassie's outstretched hand. Ryf stepped in front of his charge and smiled. "I'm sorry Mrs. O'Brian, Miss O'Brian, but Mr. Sandburg isn't feeling very well. In fact, I'm certain that he's a bit nervous. He's to be married as soon as we reach New York." 

Both Elaine and Cassie O'Brian's faces collectively fell. Cassie's face turned red and she pulled her arm back. "Well then," Elaine said. "It was nice meeting you. I'll sure we'll see you again. Come along Cassie." The two women walked away. Blair was certain he heard the older one say: "I told you he was spoken for. You must learn to control yourself if you want to get a proper husband." 

Blair sighed and leaned against the head rest. "Thanks Ryf. I just couldn't...I mean I..." 

Ryf smiled. "I understand Mr. Sandburg. Mr. Sandburg, would it be all right if I went to my quarters for a while?" 

Blair nodded. Ryf was quite an artist. No doubt the man wanted to catch up on some sketching. "Sure, I'll be all right out here." 

"Very good Sir." With that Ryf walked off. 

Jim Ellison found that he was unable to concentrate on the chatter around him. To his ears it all sounded shrill and unintelligible. Soon it only sounded like noise to Jim. He suddenly rose and looked at his startled companions. "Excuse me...I...I'm not feeling very well." His voice sounded loud to him. 

Carolyn looked at him with concern. Had Jim been that affected by that young man? "Do you want me to come with you James?" 

Jim shook his head. He needed to get some air and get it fast or he was certain his head would explode. "No Carolyn," he managed to say politely. "I just need to take a walk." 

"I hope it wasn't anything you ate James?" Laura said. 

Jim just shook his head. "Just some air. I'll be fine." 

Jim walked quickly out of the dining room. As soon as the cool air hit him he gasped in relief. He leaned against the door and took a few deep breaths. 'God in heaven. What happened? I've seen beautiful men before but I've never reacted like that...maybe it's the sea or something. Has to be it.' Jim managed to collect himself while smiling politely at the ladies and gentlemen who passed. When he felt himself once again he stepped out on the deck and started to walk around the part of the ship designated for First Class passengers. 

Suddenly the air was filled with the same tart and tangy scent Jim had smelled inside the dining room. Jim put his hands inside the pockets of his coat and found himself walking in the direction of the scent. Jim stopped. There sitting on a chair was the angel. He wore glasses and was reading a book, even doing that made him look angelic. 

Jim looked at the book the young man was reading. It looked like a textbook. So, the angel was quite learned. Jim knew he was stareing but could not help himself, he was rooted to the spot. 

Blair felt eyes on him. Thinking it was Ryf, he quickly put down the book and was startled to see the large man standing a few feet from him. 

Jim blinked. "I...I'm sorry...I didn't mean to stare." 

"I...no...I...I... wasn't offended." Blair placed the book on his lap. 

Jim smiled. He looked at the book in the young man's lap. "Looks like a hard book." 

"Anthropology..." 

"Don't know much about that subject." Jim cautiously moved closer. The younger man didn't jump up and run so he guessed it was alright. 

Blair smiled and managed to stand, despite his legs shaking. "I...I don't believe we've been introduced. My name is Blair Sandburg." He held out a hand and kept breathing in and out, praying this man couldn't see how much he was shaking. 

"James Ellison. My friends call me Jim." Jim shook the young man's hand. As soon as their hands touched, both men felt currents of electricity and heat shoot through their bodies. Jim and Blair looked at each other and two pairs of blue eyes locked. 

"It's...it's nice to meet you...Jim..." Blair said. 

"Likewise." 

"Um..." was all Blair could get out. 

Jim looked down and saw they were still shaking hands. "Sorry," he let Blair's hand go. 

"That's all right." 

They hadn't taken their eyes off each other. "Um...this is some ship, isn't it. Unsinkable they say." 

Blair grinned. "No ship's unsinkable." 

"I...I guess so...I mean...that's what they say...Um...so, where's the man who was with you?" 

"That would be Ryf...my servant. He's gone back to his room. What about the lady you were with?" Blair cocked his head to the side and waited for the lie. 

"Carolyn. My wife." Jim looked down. "Soon to be ex-wife...sister-inlaw..." 

Blair stared at Jim questionably. 

Jim shook his head and smiled. "It's complicated." 

They stood, gazing at each other, oblivious to the gentle rocking of the ship and the people passing them too engrossed in their own lives to pay any attention to two men. 

"So...Jim...are you going anywhere?" 

Jim shook his head. "No." 

"Me neither. You want to...walk around?" 

"I'd like that very much...Blair." 

Blair nodded. "Me too Jim." 

* * *

Jim and Blair must have walked around the deck of Titanic for hours as they talked. Both men were amazed at how easy and comfortable they felt with each other. 

Blair told Jim about being born rich in New York; about his free spirited mother who shunned most society functions and his father who adored them, as well as his eighteen year old mistress. He told of being smart as a child, so smart his father, Parker was convinced he was a genius. Blair went to private schools all his life, finished at sixteen and had graduated Harvard at twenty with a degree in both busines and history. Naomi , feeling her son was far too young to have business responsibilities, convinced Parker that graduate school in Europe was the right thing to do. Blair would be a well rounded young man. The time in Europe grew longer and longer, as Blair fell in love with anthropology and got his Masters in the subject. Then he and his roommate Fox went to Egypt on an expedition that lasted three whole years. After that Parker told his son that he had to come home. Playtime was over and it was time to become a man, the elder Sandburg said. 

Jim told Blair about being born dirt poor in New Jersey, with an abusive father, a timid mother and a younger brother. One day his mother, Mary, tired of all the abuse left in the middle of the night with a traveling minister. That was the last Jim and Stephen saw of their mother. Jim also told Blair about what the doctor called "overactive senses" He could hear, see, smell, taste and feel things others couldn't. The doctor thought it occured when Jim was seven. He'd gone hunting with his father and uncles and got lost in the woods. For three days he was missing until another hunter found him, sitting calmly under a tree, eating a deer he'd managed to kill. The doctor thought the senses were some kind of survial defense. The doctor could not explain why the senses didn't go away when Jim was rescued. 

As soon as Jim mentioned his senses. Blair asked if he could see for himself. Jim nodded. "Sure, people have been saying that all my life." 

Blair turned around so his back was to Jim and whispered something under his breath. He knew there was no way anybody could hear what he'd just said. 

"No Blair, It's not a trick," Jim said suddenly. 

Blair was startled. He whirled around and looked ahead of him for some type of reflecting device. When he didn't see one he shook his head. "Jim has anyone ever tested you on this?" 

Jim shook his head. "No, but some people thought that's how I probably found that gold. I guess they were right. It's not all good though Blair. Sometimes I can get so focused on something that I forget everything else. It's like being in a trance. I'd be there forever if someone doesn't nudge me or something." 

"Wow Jim...I mean this is incredible...just think of all the things you could do. I mean...I'd really like to test you more." 

Jim just shrugged. "I haven't finished my story yet though, Blair." 

"Oh...sorry...I...go on." 

When Jim was eighteen he joined the army and was stationed west, in California. Jim stayed in the army for four years and then got a job working on the railroad. All that changed when one day on a lark he decided to go prospecting. There at the age of thirty-three he found gold. After that, life was never the same. Paul refused to come to the "devil's country" but Stephen did. Jim told Blair about Stephen, how sensitive he was, and kind. "I guess that's why Carolyn fell in love with him," he said. 

Blair stared at Jim. "Your wife and your brother? Oh, God." 

"Well, I can't say I blame her. I never showed her much affection. I guess I married her because it seemed like the right thing at the time. She's a handsome woman from a good family and I guess I thought it would be all right. It wasn't and she found someone else." 

"That's bad Jim, your own brother." 

Jim leaned over the railing and looked down at the sea. "Yes, I guess so." He turned to Blair. "So, what happened to Fox, your roommate?" 

Blair was startled at the question. "Fox?" 

"Yes. You mentioned him a few times. You two went to Egypt together." 

"Well, Fox wasn't really into anthropology. His father's wealthy and believes that all young men should have at least one adventure before they marry. That's why he went with me." 

"What happened to him?" 

Now it was Blair's turn to look down at the water. "Getting his Ph.D at Oxford." 

"I guess you miss him, huh?" 

Blair shrugged. He turned around and looked at Jim then he smiled. "Fox who?" the young man said. 

Jim laughed. Blair laughed as well. "You know what you look like standing there with your hair back like that?" 

"What?" 

"An injun." 

Blair's eyes widdened. "Jim, injun is a white man's word for..." 

Jim waved his hand. "Sorry. Indian. Guess I need you to civilize me, huh?" 

"If you want me to." 

Jim looked away, then back at Blair. "What I was saying is standing there, with your hair back like that makes you look like an....Indian chief." 

Blair laughed. Jim gasped at the beautiful smile, the way his eyes danced. "That's probably what my father will say." 

"Well, I think the hair looks good on you, Chief." Jim reached out and touched the ponytail, twirling his fingers around the soft curls. So soft...so perfect.... 

"Jim...uh...Jim...." 

Jim blinked and removed his hand. He blushed embarrassed that he'd gotten so lost in the young man's hair. "Sorry." 

"No...I don't mind. But I think they might," he gestured towards the people passing by who nodded and smiled at the two men. 

Jim chuckled. "Forgot where I was for a moment." 

"I know how that feels." 

"You do, huh?" 

"Yes." Blair reached out and squeezed Jim's upper arm. He grinned. Just like he thought it would be. Solid. Hard. He must lift weights, most wealthy men weren't in such good shape at all. 

"How does it feel Blair?" 

"What?" Blair suddenly removed his hand. 

"How does it feel to forget where you are." 

Blair laughed and Jim joined him. "I guess it feels like I do now." 

Jim shook his head. As he looked out at the sun, he was surprised to see it moving quickly towards the west. Then he looked at his watch. "Ah God, Chief. I don't believe this. Carolyn says I never talk and look at this...I've lost track of the time." 

Blair checked his watch as well. "You're right Jim. I better go before Ryf thinks I fell in," he nodded towards the ocean. 

"And I better go before Carolyn wonders what happened to me. I guess I'll see you at dinner." 

"I'll be there." 

That night at dinner, Carolyn Ellison noticed there was something very different about her husband as she watched him from across the table. Normally Jim acted listless and bored if they were at a table with others in First Class. Tonight he was animated and even smiling. Carolyn noticed that young Mr. Sandburg, seated next to her husband was also quite animated. She kept one eye on her husband even as she talked to the other ladies about the latest fashion, food and gossip. 

Jim was afraid Blair would make him spit up his food. He had an opinion of everybody at the table, and in the room as well. Apparently his manservant, Ryf was well versed in gossip more than any woman Jim knew. He knew who was doing what to whom and where. Blair found that Jim's sensitive hearing was a plus in these situations. He could speak in the barest whisper and Jim would still hear him. 

Jim looked down the table to see a perky looking redhead who's mouth never seemed to stop moving, though the lady she was speaking to obviously wasn't interested. "What about her?" he whispered. 

"Cassie O'Brian. New Money." 

"Ouch," Jim said. 

"Sorry. What I meant is that she and her mother are looking for an old name to bring class to their family." 

Cassie suddenly looked over at Blair and waved. Blair smiled and waved back. "I also hear that she's not a natural redhead if you know what I mean." 

Jim used all his self control to not spit out his drink. He turned to Blair. "Chief, I'm surprsied at you." 

"You know Jim, I could probably find out if she is a natural redhead." 

"Don't you dare," it was out before Jim realized he said it. 

"Jealous?" Blair whispered seductively in Jim's ear. 

The older man's cock twitched in response. He wiped his mouth and drank some cold water. "You're an engaged man Mr. Sandburg. However can you have those thoughts." 

That brought a chuckle from Blair. 

Carolyn was surprised when Jim walked into the drawing room with the men, to talk business and smoke cigars. Jim hated talking business with "old fogies" and hated the smell of cigars. But, he excused himself, smiled at Carolyn and away he went, with Mr. Sandburg behind him. 

"Interesting," Carolyn said quietly. 

After about a half hour of cigar smoke and boring chatter, Jim's eyes started to water and he began to sniff. 

"Ellison!" an overweight, grey haired man bellowed. "What in God's name are you doing here! I thought you were allergic to cigar smoke!" 

Jim nearly had to cover his ears. Blair looked guiltily at his cigar and he quickly put it out. 

"I'm fine Ben," Jim said right before he sneezed. 

"I think you need to get some air, Mr. Ellison," Blair said quickly, taking Jim's arm. He nodded to the men in the room. "Terrible thing, those allergies," he said as they left. 

Outside Jim continued to sneeze. Blair gripped Jim's shoulders. "Come on Jim, take a deep breath." Jim obeyed. "Good...now Jim take another, and another..." 

Jim continued to breathe until he no longer felt light headed. "Let's walk," Blair said, taking Jim's arm. 

They walked to the front of the ship, where Jim leaned against the railing. He looked up at Blair. The younger man hit himself on the forehead with the palm of his hand. "You shouldn't have been there Jim! Not with your senses they way they are." 

Jim shook his head. "I...I...well, you were going there." 

"Me? Jim I hate sitting with my father's friends, smoking cigars and talking about stupid things. I thought you wanted to be there, that's the only reason I went." 

Jim smiled as did Blair. "Damn, I guess that's why it's important to talk huh?" the older man said. 

"Yes, I guess we're going to have to work on that," Blair said quietly, before remembering Jim could hear him. 

Jim's eyes widened. Blair shrugged. He looked around at the darkness around them. "Jim, let's do a test right now." 

"Now? Here?" 

"Sure. Okay, look out there," Blair pointed in front of him, at the ocean. "What do you see?" 

"Ocean." 

"You don't see anything else, no other ships?" 

Jim shook his head. "Just ocean." 

"You know Jim, maybe you should tell the captain about your senses. If you were looking out, you wouldn't need binoculars...or if you had binoculars you'd probably be able to see all the way to New York. We really should test your vision Jim, just to see how far you really can see. Can you see me Jim? I know I'm standing in front of you but..." 

"I can see you fine Blair. I can tell the color of your eyes." Jim turned around and looked up. "I can also see the first mate and the lookout up there probably wondering what two men are doing out here in such a romantic spot." Jim gestured to a young couple walking hand in hand a few yards from them. 

Blair chuckled. "You can always say you're giving me marriage tips...since I'm supposed to get married..." 

"Supposed?" 

Blair nodded and looked out at the ocean. "It's beautiful out here. Perfect. I don't want to spend the rest of my life in some stuffy old office...it'll kill me." He put both hands on the railing. 

Jim looked down at Blair's hands and slowly covered one of them with his own. At the touch of Jim's hand Blair closed his eyes and took a deep breath. 

"If you run away now Blair, I'll undertstand." 

"I won't Jim. I don't want to." Blair looked at the older man who looked back. 

Their eyes met and locked as Jim studied Blair's fine features, the full lips, the high cheekbones, the strong jaw. He was beautiful, masculine yet beautiful at the same time. 

Blair studied the man's face. He wished he was blessed with the same type of vison as Jim. That way he could study every line, every inch of Jim's face. But he didn't care, he knew that face as well as he knew his own. Blair could not believe that a week ago, he did not know James Ellison. 

Suddenly Blair saw Jim's face tense, his eyes narrow. "What is it, Jim?" Blair said. 

Jim shook his head. "I don't know. This ship..." 

"What about it?" 

"It's going pretty fast, Blair, can't you feel it?" 

"No...well...a little. That's precisely why you've got to have your abilities tested." 

Jim shrugged. "Maybe, but I'm not going to tell the captain. The last thing I need is to be locked up in a place like Bedlam." 

Blair punched Jim affectionately on the arm, smiling again at its hardness. "Bedlam..that place is for the insane." 

Now Jim smiled. "Well, right now Chief, if we don't go back inside soon, I'll do something pretty insane." 

Blair grinned. "Well, not insane to me...or the ancient Greeks." 

That made Jim laugh and Blair join him. "Too bad we're not in Greece, huh?" Jim put his arm around Blair's shoulders as the two men walked away from the bow. 

"Yeah, too bad. Actually, ancient Greece wasn't a very sanitary place Jim...did you know that..." 

"Tomorrow you can tell me all about it," Jim said. 

"Okay Jim, I will. I've got a feeling I'll be talking to you for a long time." 

* * *

Carolyn Ellison watched as her husband walked out of his quarters, dressed for the day. She frowned as she heard a strange noise coming from his lips. He was whistling! 

"So, I guess you're going to spend time with Mr. Sandburg after breakfast?" she said. 

Jim looked in the mirror and made sure his tie was straight. He nodded. "Actually Blair is going to join us for breakfast, if that's all right with you." 

Carolyn nodded. "You're spending a lot of time with him." 

"Yes. Blair likes to run these crazy tests on my senses. He said he'd like to study them." 

"Oh, really?" 

Jim could not miss the tone of his wife's voice. He turned around and looked at her. "Yes, really. What's wrong Carolyn? You don't like Blair?" 

"Oh, I think he's a fine young man James. But Blair Sandburg is from very old money and he's the only son. Do you think his father would allow him to have what you want him to have?" 

"And what is that, Carolyn? Why don't you just say it, huh? Shit! What the hell do you want from me? I'll give you a divorce, you can marry Stephen. Hey do you want me to give you the house too so you two can fuck on the stairs, or have you done that already!" 

Carolyn's face was red. Jim heard her frantic heartbeat and her shallow breathing. "James Ellison for your information I care a lot about you and I don't want to see you hurt. Blair Sandburg is going to get married when he gets to New York. To him you're nothing more than a shipboard romance, a last fling!" 

Jim stared at Carolyn. He wanted to shout at her, but he remembered the relaxation techniques Blair taught him. Breathe in, breathe out. Then he spoke. "Is that what you believe Carolyn, or is that what you hope. What a scandal it would be that James Ellison prefers a man to his own wife?" 

Carolyn slapped Jim's face. Jim smiled and checked his watch. "I think it's time for breakfast." 

At the breakfast table, Ryf looked at Carolyn as she listlessly nibbled on her toast. Blair had taken out a notebook and was scribbling down tests that he wanted to give Jim today. Suddenly, Jim caught a glimpse of red hair. 

"Oh dear," Carolyn said, "there's that dreadful woman." 

"Cassie O'Brian," Ryf said. 

"You know her?" 

"Good heavens no. Shall we say I know of her." 

Carolyn smiled, glad that Blair's manservant was so amusing. She didn't feel so much like a third wheel with him there. "Oh my God, here she comes..." 

Cassie sauntered over to the table and smiled. She was alone, no mother or aunt in sight. "Hi. You remember me, don't you...Cassie O'Brian?" She stuck her hand out in front of Blair. 

Blair, Jim and Ryf all rose. Blair took Cassie's hand and kissed it. "Oh Cassie, of course I remember you, but Jim and I were just leaving." 

Carolyn rose as well. "I have an appointment with the hair dresser in a few minutes. Excuse me." She smiled politely at the girl and then quickly walked out. Jim grinned, the appointment was more like in a few hours. 

"And I really must catch up on my sketching," Ryf said, "I shall see you later Mr. Sandburg." 

Cassie pouted and then looked at Jim and Blair. "Are you going to get some air? I'd like some air myself...." 

Jim grinned leaned closer to Cassie, whispering in her ear. "As you know, Mr. Sandburg is to be married soon and there are a few things that only a man can tell him...I'm sure you understand." 

Cassie blushed until her skin nearly matched her hair color. "Oh...I see...well...don't let me stop you." 

"Cassie my dear, why don't you take the table, I'm sure someone will join you soon," said Jim as he and Blair hurried out. 

Outside the two men laughed. "Wow, she sure knows how to clear a room," Blair said. 

Jim sighed. "Well, where to? Carolyn's mad at me and is probably taking a nap and it seems like we know every inch of this ship." 

"We could go to my quarters. If Ryf is sketching he's probably out here somewhere. Why's Carolyn mad at you?" 

Jim shrugged. "Wife things." 

Blair stared at his friend and didn't believe him for a second. "My quarters it is." 

Jim looked around Blair's sitting room and shook his head. "Yours looks better than mine," he mock pouted. 

"Awww, poor baby. That's what happens when you have old money." Blair sat on the sofa and beckoned Jim to sit next to him. 

"So, what are these tests about Galileo?" 

Blair grinned at the reference. "Well I was thinking. We've examined sight, smell, hearing, taste..." Jim still remembered the caviar with horse radish Blair popped in his mouth to test his sensitivity to spices. "How about touch?" 

"Touch," Jim repeated. 

Blair nodded. He rose, walked across the room and grabbed a satchel that had been sitting on the floor. Then he sat back down and turned to Jim. "There are some items in here I want you to identify by touch alone." 

Jim rolled his eyes, pretending to tolerate the tests. Actually he enjoyed them since they brought he and Blair closer together. "All right professor, tell me what to do." 

"First, I want you to close your eyes." 

Jim closed his eyes as Blair watched him. "Not good enough," the young man said quietly. 

"What's not good enough?" Jim asked. 

Blair pulled out a silk scarf. "I want you to focus on touch Jim, but I want you to be able to concentrate on the sound of my voice as well." 

"You ask a lot Chief." 

Blair just smiled at that. "Okay Jim." He reached around the older man to tie the scarf around his eyes. 

"Ah...silk," Jim smiled. 

"You can feel that on your face?" 

"Sure Chief, isn't that what you want me to do?" 

Once the blindfold was in place and Blair was certain Jim could not see, the younger man reached inside the satchel. "I'm going to brush each object against your skin and I want you to tell me what it is. Remember focus on touch but continue to hear me." 

"Yes sir." Jim gave a mock salute. 

Blair got the first item and gently brushed it against Jim's cheek, rubbing up and down. The older man smiled. "That's easy, an ostrich feather." 

Blair's eyes widened. He expected Jim to say it was a feather but not what kind. "Wow," he whispered. He put the feather down and got the next item. Jim frowned at first, and then smiled. 

"Ah, the feel of money." 

Blair nodded. "I bet you can't tell me how much." He rubbed the note against Jim's cheek again. 

"One hundred dollars Chief." 

That caused the younger man to gasp. "You peeked!" 

Jim grimaced at the sound. "No Blair I didn't...I..." He was truly confused. "It just felt like...I can't explain it...I don't know...I could just tell." 

Blair nodded and got more comfortable on the sofa. He started to reach for the next item, an apple but smiled as he had a better idea. He reached behind him and untied his hair, shaking it free of its confines. Then he took the leather band and placed it against Jim's sensitized skin. 

"What does that feel like Jim?" 

Jim could feel the smooth unmistakable surface of the leather, but he also felt something else, something softer. "Well...it's leather but...I...I feel something else...something soft...silky..." 

Blair moved closer to Jim. He lowered his head and caressed Jim's face with his own hair. 

Jim gasped at the silky softness against his skin. "Oh," was all he could get out. The sensations of softness against his face was combined with the growing hardness in his cock, straining against his cotton undergarments. 

"What's that Jim?" Blair whispered softly into Jim's ear. 

"Oh...God...it's...it's..." Jim heard his own shallow breathing. "It's...hair...your hair Chief..." 

"Good...good Jim. Now one more." Blair looked at the blindfolded man before him and made his choice. He slowly moved even closer and gently touched the older man's lips with his. Then Blair pulled back and waited. 

Jim was panting now. His sense of touch was as high as it had ever been, except maybe when he struck gold. 

"What was that Jim?" Blair whispered. 

Jim took a few deep breaths until he was sure he remembered how to speak. "Your..." he croaked out. "The lips I've wanted to kiss ever since the first time I saw you." 

"Then kiss them." 

Jim reached forward and connected with Blair's shoulders. He pulled the young man close. He was amazed that he didn't need to see him to know just where he was. Slowly he covered Blair's mouth with his own. Blair opened his mouth to receive the kiss as Jim pulled him closer so the smaller man was on his lap. As the kiss deepened, Blair reached behind Jim's head and untied the blindfold. Jim blinked as he looked into the intense blue eyes before him. 

The need for air forced them from their kiss and they looked at each other nearly breathless. Jim smiled at the sight in front of him. "I've never seen you like this...your hair loose. You do look like an angel." 

Blair smiled at that comment. "I'm not an angel Jim." 

"Well...you're my angel." 

Blair just nodded. Jim gently touched the soft curls and twirled his fingers around them. "May I kiss you again Blair Sandburg?" 

The younger man gave Jim a blinding smile. "Always the gentleman Mr. Ellison. Yes, you may kiss me as long as you like." 

The next kiss was filled with the promise and passion of new love. Jim's hands lost themselves in Blair's hair, while Blair reached under Jim's jacket, feeling the perfect body underneath the clothes. 

When the broke from the kiss Blair sighed. "Mr. Ellison, I would appreciate it if you removed your jacket." 

Jim grinned. "Remove it for me, Mr. Sandburg and then remove yours." 

Blair chuckled then carefully moved off Jim's lap and pushed off the older man's jacket a little fearful his frantic hands might tear the material. After getting it off safely and tossing it to the floor, Blair pulled off his jacket in two fluid movements. He twirled it over his head and tossed it on top of Jim's. 

The older man looked at the clothes on the floor. "We're going to have to hang those up, Chief. Wouldn't want Ryf thinking we're slobs." 

"We'll do that later." Blair moved again into Jim's arms again and they locked themselves into an embrace. They continued their exploration of each other's face, eyelids, nose, chin, cheeks, ears. Blair moved himself against Jim so their cocks, now painfully erect were rubbing each other through their clothes. Jim's hands lowered down to Blair's hips. The younger man took the hint and started to move gently against his soon to be lover. Their kisses grew more desperate and frenzied with each touch. Then kissing became too much of an effort as both men needed all the air they could breath. 

Jim felt himself getting closer and closer with each touch. He looked at the younger man, head thrown back, eyes clothes, mouth open, gasping and didn't think he'd ever seen a more beautiful sight in the world. He _was_ an angel. His angel. And he deserved better than a cheap, mindless fuck. Using all the self control taught him by the US Army, Jim pushed his young love backwards. Blair stared at him, stunned, hurt, frightened. 

"It's not you angel...it's..." Jim gestured at where they were. "This isn't what you deserve...what we deserve. You're not a whore and I'm not going to treat you like one." 

It took a while for Blair's lust filled brain to digest what Jim had just said. Once he realized it was not a rejection, he smiled. "I...I guess you're right." 

They looked in each other's eyes for a while; blue eyes on blue eyes, both understanding, caring, compassionate. 

The sudden knock at the door made both men jump. Blair jumped off the sofa. Jim handed him his jacket, grabbed his up as well and stood, trying to get the blood to come back to his brain once again. He watched how quickly Blair moved to the door and was astonished that the young man could move so easily considering. 

Blair opened the door and smiled as he saw Ryf staring curiously at him. The younger man realized that his hair was loose. Ryf looked inside the room to see Jim standing by the sofa. From both men's flushed appearances, Ryf was certain he had interrupted something. 

The servant blushed, not from shame as to what had or almost had occurred, but at disturbing it. "I'm sorry Mr. Sandburg....I didn't know you were here...I thought you two were walking about the ship." 

Jim smiled. "Come in, Ryf." 

The manservant entered carrying his sketch book. Jim's eyes fell on the drawing on top. "That's beautiful." 

Ryf didn't know what Ellison was speaking of, until he followed the man's gaze to his sketch book. 

"Oh...it's just a hobby sir." 

Jim took a closer look at the drawings. "May I see?" 

Ryf nodded. Jim walked to the sofa where he sat and studied every one of them. Blair watched his love scan the sketches with his eyes. 'What must he see?' he wondered. 

"It looks like you've drawn everybody on this ship...except me and Blair." 

Blair shook his head. "I'm not really the subject type Jim. I hate to have to sit still that long." 

"I've never had a portrait done of me." His eyes widened at Ryf. Blair thought he looked like a child at Christmas. "Ryf...would it be too much to ask if....if you could do a sketch of Blair and I...I'll pay you." Jim reached inside his pocket and pulled out a twenty dollar piece. "Is this enough?" 

Ryf had never earned a penny for any of his artwork. It was simply a hobby as he'd said. "No...no Sir. You don't have to pay for..." 

"I know I don't have to Ryf...I insist. Unless you have some objections in drawing us...together." 

Ryf understood the core of the question. "Oh, no Sir...Not at all. I'm a very learned man." 

Blair smiled at Jim and whispered in a voice he knew Ryf couldn't hear but Jim could. "He's studied ancient Greece." 

Jim nearly doubled over with laughter, causing Ryf to stare at him. "I'm glad you are," Jim said. "So, how shall we pose?" 

"How about nude?" Blair said. 

Both Ryf and Jim blushed. "I'll pretend I didn't hear that Sir," the servant said. 

"A classic pose, two men who are very close friends," Jim said smiling at Blair. 

Blair smiled back. "Yes, very close friends. Jim, if I can't be nude, then I want to wear my hair loose." 

Jim looked into Blair's eyes and nodded. "I couldn't think of a better way for you to be." 

The two men stared at each other as if there were no one else in the world. Ryf cleared his throat to remind them he was in the room as well. 

"Let's begin gentlemen," Ryf said calmly. 

* * *

Ryf had sketched ladies and gentlemen, children and old people, lovers and old married couples but he'd never sketched two people who seemed more in tune with each other than Blair Sandburg and James Ellison. 

The sketch was basically simple. Blair was seated in a chair sans glasses, while Jim stood over him his hand on the younger man's shoulder. Both men managed to stay still for the most part, until Jim's hand began massaging Blair's shoulder and the younger man looked up in protest. 

"What?" Jim said. 

"You're getting me aroused, Sir," Blair whispered. 

"Oh, am I?" Jim smiled. With that, he brushed his fingertips against the back of Blair's neck. 

Blair squirmed again and Ryf sighed impatiently. 

"It's not me Ryf...tell Jim to stop?" 

"Me? What am I doing? Ryf, do you see me doing anything?" 

"I don't see you doing anything Mr. Ellison but that doesn't mean you're not. Now I'd like to finish this sketch before we dock in New York if that's all right with you." 

Jim nodded. "Fine. Carry on." 

Ryf managed to do the rest of the sketch without incident. When he finally was finished he showed it to the two men. Blair's eyes widened. 

"Wow, that does look like me," he said. 

"Captures your beauty, angel," Jim responded. He looked at Ryf. "Good job." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a fifty dollar bill. Before the servant had a chance to protest, he'd shoved the bill in his pocket. 

"Thank you Mr. Ellison." 

Jim smiled, then turned his attention to Blair who still stared at the sketch of them. He wasn't too amazed at his own likeness but was amazed at how well Jim was captured. His strength and his humanity were both there. 

"You like it Blair?" Jim said. 

Blair turned his eyes to Jim and could only nod. 

"Then it'll be my present to you." 

Blair's mouth dropped. "What...Jim you just paid..." 

"For your present angel, it's a small token of how I do feel." 

Ryf blushed, feeling he was interrupting an intimate moment. "I...um...Mr. Sandburg. Why don't I take the sketch for now, keep it safe. In New York we'll have it framed." 

Blair smiled broadly. "Thank you Ryf." 

"Now," the servant moved towards the door. "I will retire to my quarters. If that's all right with you, Sir?" 

Blair just nodded. Ryf started to open the door. "Ryf," Jim said. 

The servant looked at the tall man in front of him. "Yes Mr. Ellison." 

"Thank you, for everything. Tolerance is needed in the world today." 

Ryf nodded. "Yes Sir, you are quite right about that." 

They "celebrated" their portrait by ordering a bottle of champagne and a plate of caviar. Blair grimmaced at the caviar. "I hate that stuff." 

Jim laughed. He placed some on a cracker and popped it into his mouth. "An acquired taste." Jim poured the champagne into the two glasses and handed one to Blair. 

"Like you, huh?" the younger man said. 

Jim just smiled and sighed. Blair looked at his watch. "Oh God, will you look at how late it is Jim?" He stared at the older man who sat next to him, smiling as if he didn't have a care in the world. 

"I know how late it is Blair. That happens when you're having a good time." 

"Do you think they'll be talk if we don't show for dinner?" Both men had removed their jackets and ties and loosened their shirts. 

"I'm sure it won't be the first time two people haven't showed up to dinner before." 

"Even people like us?" Blair said in a small voice. "I mean...your wife Jim..." 

"Is going to marry my brother as soon as our divorce is final. Carolyn knows everything about me Blair, everything. Unless of course you're embarrassed. Perhaps that enchanting redhead...what was her name?" 

"Don't you speak her name to me Jim Ellison or else I'll...I'll..." 

"What will you do to me dear? Please tell me what kind of torture you're imagining." 

Blair laughed. Jim stared at him. "Jim...you....you....sound like...one of those...horrible...Victorian novels....." 

Jim playfully hit Blair on the shoulder. "Well, Cheif, there's another reason I don't think we should go to dinner...at least not me..." He took Blair's hand and placed it on his obvious erection. Blair, stunned laughed even louder as he pulled his hand away. 

"Jim...how long have you been like this...I should have sent Ryf away." 

"And not had our portrait sketched? No, it was worth it." 

Blair put down his glass on the end table and frowned as Jim ate more caviar. "You shouldn't have given it to me, Jim." 

The older man shrugged. "Then we'll get Ryf to sketch another one of us tomorrow...in the nude." 

Blair's eyes widened. "You wouldn't dare." 

"Is that a dare?" 

Now the younger man blushed. "So, Mr. Sandburg, as I was saying, if I entered the dining room in this condition...it might cause a scandal. What do you think?" 

Blair inched closer to Jim. He put the older man's glass down on the other end table and got on his knees before Jim. Then he leaned his body down, rubbing Jim's cloth covered hard cock with his own. 

"Such a scandal," Blair murmured. 

Jim put his arms around his beloved and pulled him close, so Blair was on top of him. Then he pulled the young man's face close to his and kissed the full, ready lips. The kiss was returned and their tongues danced in a gentle mating dance that built up quickly in intensity. Blair's trembling fingers began to unbutton Jim's shirt. Jim smiled and stopped him. 

"I believe we were in this position before Chief." 

Blair grinned. "Perhaps we should retire to some place more comfortable," he said in a pompous voice. 

"Good idea professor." 

Blair scrambled off Jim and took the older man's hand. Jim rose as Blair led him to his bedroom. When he opened the door, Jim pulled Blair back into his arms. "What's the matter?" Blair said. 

"I want to do this right darling." While Blair looked at Jim questionably, the larger man picked his young love up in his arms and walked into the darkened bedroom. 

"Jim...I can't see..." Blair said as Jim shut the door behind them. 

"Ah, but I can. You're heavy." Jim dropped Blair onto the bed. Then he reached over and turned the lamp on low. "I want us to see each other," he said. 

Blair got up and faced his love. Jim tangled his hands again in Blair's hair and kissed him passionately. "You're so beautiful...I...I want to see you..." the older man said. 

They slowly undressed, never breaking eye contact with each other except to remove shoes and socks. Then once nude they looked at each other, each man reveling in the beauty of the other. 

Jim was amazed at Blair's compact body, the chest peppered with soft dark hairs that moved down into a V shape leading to his pubic hair from which an immence cock pointed at him. Blair looked at Jim's well chiseled body from his broad shoulders, to his biceps, narrow waist. His muscled thighs, calves and legs and his taut buttocks. His cock was pointed in his direction and Blair did not resist the impulse to kneel down at his lover's beauty. 

Blair kissed Jim's stomach and belly button, then gently swirled his tongue around the same, sensitive area. Jim's gasps told him that the older man had his sense of touch way up. Blair then leaned over and caressed Jim's cock with his hair. Jim gave a strangled groan and grasped the night table behind him as he involuntarily moved his hips forward towards the stimulation. Blair then leaned back and blew cool hair over the sensitive cockhead before engulfing the hard flesh with his warm, wet mouth. 

Jim grabbed Blair's hair as he moved his hips forward, making love to Blair's mouth. Blair placed his hands firmly on Jim's hips, stilling him. 

"God....Bllllaaaaiiirrrr..." Jim whimpered. 

Blair released Jim's cock and looked up at the older man. Jim looked down at his lover, his blue eyes were dark with desire, his lips were wet, red and bruised from his kisses. 

"I....I...want you inside me..." the young man said in a small voice. 

Jim took a few deep breaths before he could speak. "Are. You. Sure?" 

Blair only nodded. Jim then offered the young man his hand and helped him stand. They slowly walked over to the bed. Blair looked at Jim questioningly and Jim wondered how many times he'd done this before. No matter, he was with him now. 

"It's better if you're on your side," Jim whispered. 

Blair nodded. He reached behind Jim on a small table by the bed and handed him a jar. Then, looking at Jim, Blair got on the bed and lay on his side, facing away from his love. 

Jim got in bed and lay on his side so he was spooned behind Blair. He opened the jar of some kind of lubricant (he was glad it was unscented). And began to gently coat Blair's opening with one finger, then two. With two fingers, Jim searched for Blair's prostate. Suddenly, the younger man gasped. Jim smiled and leaned forward. "It's okay darling..." 

After sensing that Blair was prepared for him. Jim slowly coated his own cock, careful not to rub too hard as he was so turned on touching himself might just make him come. Jim put the jar on the table and gently touched Blair's arm. "Are you ready, darling?" 

"Yes Jim..." the young man whispered breathlessly. "Please...please...take me..." 

Jim took a deep breath, then another. He wrapped one arm around Blair's waist and slowly and easily entered the young man. Blair's immediate gasp caused Jim to stop. 

"Blair?" The older man said, voice tight, hoping, praying he wouldn't have to stop. 

"I...I...I'm okay...please...please...Jim..." came the whispered response. 

Jim slowly pushed himself in deeper and deeper. Blair threw his hair back and Jim buried his face in those curls, inhaling Blair's own scent. The shock and momentary pain Blair felt was quickly replaced by a feeling of being filled, of being made whole. The feeling was so overwhelming that Blair gripped the sheets with both hands so as not to come completely apart. 

Blair groaned in pleasure as he felt Jim's balls against his buttocks and the younger man pushed back, signaling to Jim that he was all right. 

Jim smiled and began a slow and steady rhythm. He concentrated on breathing in and out resisting his urge to fuck Blair senseless he was so hot and hard right now. Almost as if Blair felt Jim's need, he pushed back hard against Jim, urging him on. Jim smiled and quickened his strokes, reaching around with his hand until he found Blair's cock. 

"Oh..." the young man gasped as he thrust forward into Jim's hand and backward towards his cock. Jim stroked Blair's cock in time with his own thrusts and Blair thrust his hips harder and faster against Jim's hand. 

"Oh...God....oh God Blair..." Jim groaned straining to gain some type of control and quickly losing the battle. 

Blair was beyond all coherent speech. He gripped the sheets even tighter as the movement on the bed became more desperate, frantic. He moaned louder and louder as his passion grew and grew. 

Jim felt Blair's balls tighten in his hand. He knew the young man was very close. Blair threw his head back and opened his mouth in a wordless scream as he came, the warm liquid filling Jim's hand. Blair's sphincter muscles stimulated Jim's already over stimulated cock. The older man leaned forward and bit Blair's shoulder to suppress the scream that would surely bring every ship's officer to the room and then he came, spilling his seed into Blair. The younger man let out a strangled moan as he felt himself being filled by his lover. 

For what felt like hours Jim and Blair lay not wanting to break contact. Finally Jim stirred and gently moved out of Blair, the younger man groaned pitifully at the loss of his lover. Jim turned Blair around so they were facing each other and pulled his young love in his arms. 

Blair looked up at the older man and smiled. "Wow," he said softly. 

"Wow?" 

Blair just nodded. "That's about all I can say now..." 

Jim buried his head in his lover's curls once again. "Ah...how I love doing that." 

Blair slowly raised himself up on one elbow and looked at Jim. 

"What? What are you thinking of?" 

Blair looked down and then looked up at Jim. "I...I've never...felt like this in my life...I know you probably think I'm silly...I mean you're a man of the world...you've done stuff...seen things..." 

"So have you Chief." 

Blair nodded. "I've been places Jim...but I've never felt....like....this," he whispered the last word. 

Jim looked into the blue eyes that stared back at him and mirrored his own feelings. "Me neither Blair." 

Tears began to form in Blair's eyes. He grabbed Jim's hand and kissed it. "I love you Jim. And when we get to New York...I'm not...I'm not going to marry that silly girl my father wants me to marry...I know you probably think I sound silly but.." 

Jim smiled broadly. "Have you ever been out to the west coast? California? Washington?" 

"I've been to California but never Washington." 

"Then I'll have to take you." 

Blair stared at his lover. "Take me..." 

"Of course. If you decide not to marry, I'm sure your father will be very upset. He'll probably cut you off. In case you haven't noticed I'm a man of some means...I'll be looking for a new place to live as well...Carolyn and Stephen can have the house...I built it for her after all. Anyway, since I'll be partially responsible for your dire financial situation it's only gentlemanly that I take you in." 

Blair cocked his head. "Gentlemanly?" 

Jim nodded. "Well, that's about what a man of honor does when he falls in love." 

The younger man's eyes widened. "Love...did you say...." 

Jim took the hand that had been holding his and kissed it. "I love you Blair." 

They talked about everything and nothing. Jim told Blair how beautiful and wild Washington was. "Beautiful and wild, like you." Blair told Jim that someday they'd have to go to Oxford so Blair could test Jim's senses more and Jim told Blair that he'd like to go on an archeological dig with him someday. Pretty soon, they drifted off to sleep, locked in each other's arms and dreaming of the future. 

They were awakened by a violent jolt that nearly sent them flying from the bed. 

* * *

"What the hell was that!" Blair shouted. 

Jim scrambled to get out of bed and signaled to Blair that he be quiet. He'd heard it, felt it. The sound of steel hitting something, something hard. Then he heard something else...water. He looked at the floor, half expecting to see water at his feet. Then he looked up at Blair. 

"Get dressed Blair," Jim said calmly. 

Blair stared at his lover. "Jim? What's the matter...what...did you hear something?" 

Jim nodded. "Yeah, I heard something. We hit something, something hard and...I hear water...down there....the lower decks...a lot of water." 

"Oh shit," Blair whispered. 

The two men quickly dressed. Jim took Blair's arm and led him out of the rooms. In the hallway, people were standing in their nightclothes asking what was that dreadful noise. No one noticed Jim and Blair. 

"What do we do?" Blair asked. 

Jim shook his head. He knew what he heard? Why was everyone so calm? He rushed to his rooms with Blair at his heels. 

As soon as Jim threw open the door to his rooms, he came face to face with Carolyn, in her evening clothes. She looked angrily at Blair. Jim put his arm protectively around Blair's shoulders, ignoring his wife's glare. "Carolyn...put on your coat...something's happened." 

"You mean that sound? They came around and said it was nothing," her eyes were still on Blair who was trying to look very small. "James, what is he doing here? Why weren't you at dinner tonight...James, listen to me." 

Jim stood in front of his wife. "No Carolyn, listen to me for once, all right? You know how I can hear things, how I can feel things! I heard this ship hit something, hit it hard...and then I heard water in the lower decks." Jim rubbed his eyes. 

Blair patted Jim's arm. "Can you still hear it Jim?" 

"I heard them trying to close it off...screaming...but..." 

"Jim, this ship is supposed to be unsinkable," Carolyn protested. 

Blair rolled his eyes. Jim glared at his wife, keeping a hand on Blair's shoulder. "Carolyn Ellison if you fill a boat up with enough water it will sink. I don't care how goddamn unsinkable they say it is. Carolyn, this ship doesn't feel right anymore...I...I can't explain it." 

Carolyn looked at her husband and tried not to look at the young man she knew he'd been with tonight. Even though she wanted to scream and curse and probably throw both of them overboard she knew that Jim's senses never lied to him. 

"I'll get my coat," she finally said, rushing into her bedroom. "Oh my God....my jewels..." 

"I'll get them...don't worry." Jim and Blair rushed to the safe. Jim opened up the combination lock in seconds and took out a small jewelry box, then he took out a single bar of gold. He showed it to Blair. 

"The first one I ever had," Jim said proudly. 

Carolyn rushed into the room wearing her best coat. Jim rolled his eyes and gave her the box, he placed the gold bar in his pocket. "Now let's see if we can find some information. Come on," and Jim led them out of the rooms. 

By the time the trio got to the state room, many of the first class passengers were there, looking quite confused. Jim focused on the many conversations. Most of the people weren't concerned at all. 

"I'm going to find out what's going on," Jim said, seeing the First Mate. 

Blair saw Ryf and waved him over. Ryf joined his charge and nodded to Carolyn. 

"It seems that we're having some excitement here," Ryf said. 

"Foolish I think," Carolyn said. She turned to Blair. "I'm sure this is quite exciting for you isn't it Mr. Sandburg?" 

"No, no it isn't Mrs. Ellison. I think it's pretty scary." Blair saw Jim talking to three of the ship's officers plus an official looking man in a suit. From the look on Jim's face, Blair could see he wasn't pleased about something. 

When Jim came back to the trio he smiled at Carolyn. "Um...they're going to um...give everybody life jackets and get the women and children off first...just a precaution...probably nothing." 

Both Carolyn and Blair looked into Jim's eyes and saw he was not telling the truth. 

"Jim," Blair said. 

But the life jackets were passed around, ugly white things. Jim helped Carolyn on with hers, and Blair helped Ryf on with his. Then Jim and Blair got into their own. Blair touched Jim's arm. 

"Jim," he whispered softly so only the other man could hear. "What's going on? Don't bullshit me, love." 

Jim smiled and leaned over. "We hit an iceberg Blair and the ship's too filled with water to keep floating...it'll sink in a few hours." 

Blair's eyes widened, he gripped Jim's arm. Jim smiled. "Don't worry," the older man whispered. "We've got plenty of time to get off." 

But Blair saw that look again in Jim's eyes. The one that said, 'I'm afraid to tell you the truth because you might get scared.' 

The first class passengers moved outside as the First Mate shouted for the women and children to get on the lifeboat. The ship's orchestra began playing ragtime tunes. Jim turned to Carolyn. 

"Go on Carolyn." 

She shot him an accusatory look. "I'm not going anywhere without you James Ellison." 

Jim smiled. "In case you haven't noticed, I'm neither a woman or a child. Go." 

She looked from Jim to Blair. "Oh Jim...don't..." 

"Go Carolyn and tell my brother...tell Stephen that I'm not very angry at him. We'll talk about it later...okay?" 

Carolyn took Jim's hands and looked in his blue eyes. "You've done nothing wrong Jim, you don't need to go down with the ship." 

"You'd better go, before you miss the boat." Jim pushed Carolyn toward the life boat. 

"Room for one more Miss," a man said. 

Carolyn looked at the boat and the frightened people there, then she looked at her husband, standing with...competition? She wasn't sure. "I'll see you later," she said. 

Jim nodded. "Right, I'll see you later." 

Carolyn got on the boat and Jim watched as it was lowered into the water. Blair grabbed Jim's hand. "Jim, where's the captain?" 

Jim stared at his lover and smiled. "Trying to steer the ship." 

"A little late for that, huh?" said Ryf. 

Blair nodded. "I bet you would have seen that iceberg, Jim." 

Jim whispered. "Well, I was in no condition to see anything babe." 

Blair smiled, then his face suddenly grew serious. "Jim...we either both get off together or we go down together, right? I'm not afraid to die Jim." 

Ryf looked worriedly at Blair, but Jim pretended he hadn't heard him. 

The process of getting all of the women and children off in First Class continued. Blair looked around confused. "Where are all the third class people?" he said. 

"They don't get to leave until all of the first class people are off," Ryf said. 

"But they have enough lifeboats for everybody, don't they?" Blair said. 

Jim looked down at Blair and was about to say something, when he sighed. "I...I'm not sure Blair." 

"What...Jim...they can't just let all those people die...Jim..." 

Jim scanned the lifeboats with his vision. He didn't have to be a mathematician to see that there were not enough boats. The boat Carolyn was in took only twenty and Jim was certain it could hold twice as many. 

"It'll be all right Blair...don't worry." 

As the exodus continued no one noticed a frantic red headed woman running around the ship, screaming about how ugly the life jacket was and she wasn't going to wear it One of the ship's officers tried to tell her to be quiet and keep still but she refused to listen and continued to run aimlessly around the ship until she slipped on a puddle and Cassie O'Brian fell into the icy waters without the benefit of a life jacket. 

A boat, filled with women and small children started to be lowered into the water when one of the women screamed that they needed a man to row the boat. Jim's hearing picked up that woman's plea and he moved Blair over towards that lifeboat. Before Blair knew what was happening, he heard Jim's voice. 

"He'll row." 

Blair looked around and realized that the people in the life boat were pointing to him. He looked in horror at Jim and Ryf. "What?" 

"Get in the boat Cheif." 

"Ji...No...I can't...No Jim...we both go or we both go down...Jim!" 

"Blair. Get in the boat...please." 

The young man shook his head. "No...I won't..." tears were starting to form. "I love you, you love me," he whispered. 

"I know that Blair and that's why I'm telling you to go. Blair...you forget, I've got my senses...they kept me alive when I was lost in the woods...Blair, I should have died then but God...or somebody gave me my senses and I have them for a reason. They're going to need me on this ship. And I can't bear to endanger you life. I love you too much," he whispered the last part. 

"Jim..." 

"Blair...you're young...live your life...Promise me you'll go to Washington...go to Oxford...live your life Chief. Don't stay here." Now Jim's eyes were starting to water. 

"Jim..." was all Blair could say. Jim pulled the young man into his arms and once again buried his face in his hair and inhaled the scent he loved. 

"I love you Blair...please go...for me." As they embraced, Jim slipped something into his lover's jacket pocket. 

Blair then looked at Ryf. "What about you?" 

Ryf smiled. "If anything happened to you Mr. Sandburg your father would have my head. I'll be all right. You go, quickly...and um...just in case..." he gave Blair the sketch pad of the drawings he'd done on the ship. "Yours is there too Mr. Sandburg," Ryf smiled sadly. 

As Blair stepped into the lifeboat, Jim breathed a sigh of relief. Blair kept his eyes on Jim as the lifeboat was slowly lowered. "Jim!" 

Jim leaned over the railing, just at that moment, a distress flare went up, illuminating Jim's face. 'And he calls me an angel' the young man thought. "You know...Eastern cultures believe that when you die, you come back and you keep coming back until you get everything right and everything's perfect," Blair's voice was hoarse as he tried to hold back the tears that were trying to push their way forward. Jim...if you...if you don't..." Blair couldn't say the word. "I'll find out Jim...in this life or the next one or the next one. I don't care James Ellison, I'll find you!!!" The young man shouted the words as the orchestra began playing, "Nearer My God To Thee." 

Jim nodded and smiled. "I know you will Blair..." 

Blair continued to look up at Jim as the boat went lower and lower. This wasn't fair...it had to be a dream. He'd just met the love of his life, just found out how his life was going to be and now this? Some fucking iceberg was going to destroy his happiness! Blair wanted to scream and shout, but when he looked at the frightened faces of the women and children in the boat with him, he knew he didn't have the time to be angry. Jim wouldn't want him to be. 

Blair rowed and rowed and rowed, but he couldn't get far enough away from Titanic. He heard the screams, the shouts as the ship slowly began to sink. The women and children on the boat sobbed and shouted. Then the lights went out on the ship and Blair could barely see it anymore. He wondered where Jim and Ryf were. Had they escaped? Were they still there? 

A woman screamed a shrill cry. Blair looked up and saw Titanic, the great unsinkable ship disappear into the icy waters of the Atlantic. He gasped. "Jim..." he said quietly. Blair then felt cold, colder than he had been before. He started to row vigorously despite the tears pouring down his cheeks. Suddenly he felt something heavy inside his pocket. Blair stopped rowing and reached inside his right hand pocket. He pulled out the gold bar he'd seen Jim take out of the safe just hours ago. 

Hours ago. Hours ago Blair had fallen in love and now...He had an impulse to throw the gold bar into the water where he was certain his beloved was now. But he didn't, He heard Jim's voice in his head. "Go to Washington, go to Oxford, live your life.." 

"I will Jim...I promise..." Blair whispered. "And I'll find you too...I'll find you...someday..." Blair Sandburg took a deep breath and began rowing hard and fast. They'd find a ship, they'd be saved. He owed it to Jim. He owed it to Jim. And that thought carried him, pushed him despite the tears that would not stop falling. 

* * *

Blair Sandburg opened his eyes and sat up quickly. He ran his hand through his tangled hair and frowned that it was wet. Blair blinked and then looked around in the darkness. "What the hell...." Blair said, confused at the unfamiliar surroundings. 

Blair stumbled out of bed and walked into the bathroom. He turned on the 

light and then threw cold water on his face. Blair was looking at his reflection in the mirror when he heard a pounding at the door that startled the young man. He was so startled that he couldn't open the door. 

Suddenly the door burst open and Blair found himself staring into the face of Ryf who looked at him questionably. 

"Blair? What the hell's the matter with you? You look like you've seen a ghost." 

"Ryf?" 

"Yes." 

"Where the hell am I?" 

Ryf rolled his eyes. "Oh shit Blair, I told Brown not to let you drink that much at the bachelor party...shit...Jim's going to kill me for sure." 

"Jim?" 

"Yeah. Blair, Jim...you remember...Jim Ellison. Detective Jim Ellison?" 

Blair looked around. "Where is he?" 

"Across the street in another hotel. Who'd have thought that Jim would turn out to be such a traditionalist about not wanting to see the br...I mean the groom...the other groom on his wedding day. You do remember Blair, this is your wedding day... you and Jim..." 

Blair blinked then tapped himself on the forehead. "Oh man...oh man...Ryf...I had one hell of a dream last night...at least I think it was a dream...well, of course it was a dream...I mean it didn't make any sense...I wasn't even born when the Titanic sank." 

Ryf rolled his eyes. "No Margaritas for you tonight hair-boy. Now shower, shave and dress. I'm getting you to the church on time or else it's my ass." 

Blair smiled broadly. "Yes sir." The anthropologist showered, shaved, brushed his teeth and dressed; all the time singing "Get me to the church on time." 

Ryf just shook his head. "I hope you guys never get divorced and we have to do this again." 

The marriage ceremony and the reception took place in Rainbow Heights, a very exclusive hall where different ceremonies including weddings, Bar and Bat Mitzvahs and confirmations. Many same sex couples married there, but the fee was quite expensive. Simon Banks paid for the hall as a wedding present to his friend. Both Jim and Blair were surprised. Though Simon was supportive of their relationship, they'd never thought he'd go so far as to pay for a fancy party. Simon explained his position. 

"Jim, before Blair came into your life, you were a mean son-of-a-bitch. If you weren't such a good detective I would have fired you. Now you're still a good detective, but you're a better man today. And I know Sandburg has had a lot...more than a lot to do with that." 

The ceremony was performed by the Reverend Karen Wright a statuesque woman with golden skin and long braids. Reverend Wright was an Episcopalian Minister and frequently performed same sex marriages. Simon and Darryl, Carolyn, Naomi and Stephen, Ryf, Brown and Joel Taggert were there, along with some of the fellows from Major Crimes who were not too disgusted by the whole 

thing. Even Cassie was there, sobbing in the back seat. 

Jim and Blair wore identical tuxedos, Jim with a green cumberbund and bow tie and Blair with blue. As soon as Jim saw his groom at the altar, Blair broke into a smile. This was not a dream, it was real life. He and Jim were really getting married. 

Blair was so excited, jazzed, happy that he didn't remember most of the ceremony. The only thing he did remember was when the rings were exchanged. (Blair nearly dropped it, his hands were shaking so much) and when Reverend Wright said. "I now pronounce you married. You may kiss." 

Jim took Blair's hands. Blair looked up at his Sentinel. Jim smiled, hearing Blair's heartbeat racing. "Oh Chief..." Jim whispered. "I'm so glad you found me." 

Blair gasped, hearing the words and vaguely remembered saying them himself. But he quickly recovered himself. "Me too Jim." 

The two men shared a passionate kiss as the entire room rose and applauded. 

Two weeks later. 

Jim opened the door to the loft as he and Blair struggled to get themselves and their suitcases in the door. 

"I can't believe we bought that much stuff in Hawaii, Chief." 

Blair nodded and grinned. "Yeah, especially since most of the time we weren't wearing any clothes." 

"And whose fault was that, love?" 

Blair batted his eyes innocently. "Who me?" 

Jim quickly grabbed Blair's arm. "Wait." 

"What?" the younger man said. 

"I have to do this right." Jim threw the bags inside the loft, then rushed out to where Blair still stood. Before Blair could speak, Jim picked him up and carried him into the loft, kicking the door shut behind him. 

"Jim....shit...what are the neighbors going to say?" 

"Like you really care about the neighbors. I'll tell you what they'll say Chief...there goes a couple in love." 

"Yeah." 

Once inside the loft, immediately Jim's eyes fell on the Federal Express package that was on the coffee table. "What's this? You expecting something?" 

Blair shook his head and picked it up. "It's to both of us...from Stephen.." 

Jim sat on the sofa confused. "Did you notice that Stephen and Carolyn were sitting real close together at our reception?" 

Blair frowned. "I hadn't noticed." 

Jim shrugged it off. Blair passed him the package. "Would you like to do the honors?" 

"You're holding it." 

Blair nodded and opened the package. There he found something in a frame. He turned it around and gasped. There was a sketch of he and Jim but they were wearing a different style of clothes. "My God," Blair whispered. He blinked and saw a flash of himself seated in a chair; Jim standing behind him, hand on his shoulder. Blair blinked quickly and saw Jim standing over him. 

"Let's see this Chief." 

Blair showed the sketch to Jim who's eyes widened. "Wow...what a likeness." He frowned and looked at the inscription on the bottom. "RT April 14, 1912" Jim pulled out a letter that was also inside the pack. "It's from Stephen." 

"Dear Jim & Blair, 

I was in Oxford a few days ago when I went into an antique shop. I was looking around at the old sketches and suddenly this caught my eye. I was stunned at the likeness and asked the shopkeeper about it. He told me that it 

belonged to an old professor who died in the nineteen fifties. The man, whose name the shopkeeper could not remember, survived the Titanic. This sketch had been made on the ship and he'd taken it with him along with others, when he got on the lifeboat. Of all the sketches, this was the only one he kept. The shopkeeper said they must have been brothers. I just smiled and bought the sketch and thought it would be a great present to you. Enjoy. 

Stephen." 

Blair sat heavily on the sofa, holding the sketch in his hands. Jim sat beside him. The older man looked at the sketch and monitored his Guide's breathing, it was slow and deep. Jim looked at the sketch again. He pointed to the Blair lookalike. "I guess he was the professor, huh?" 

Blair nodded. Jim then pointed to his own likeness. "I...um...bet he was the Blessed Protector...probably saved a lot of lives. Wonder what happened to him." 

The anthropologist shrugged. He thought about the dream or vision, or whatever it was he'd had the night before he and Jim took their vows. Blair had wondered about it, why he had it that particular night. As he looked at the sketch he understood. The young man looked at the Jim lookalike and knew _he_ hadn't survived the Titanic. Whoever these two men were, they were very much in love. Blair saw that from the sketch. They had been separated before they could have a life together. Blair knew that many peoples believed that a soul or souls kept coming back again and again until they got whatever it was they had done what they were supposed to do. Blair sighed. He and Jim had finally gotten it right. They were together. Forever. 

Jim heard his husband's ragged breathing and thought the younger man was about to cry. "Blair...baby...it's okay..." He took the picture from the younger man's hands and put it down on the coffee table. Then he took Blair in his arms and smoothed his hair, burying his nose in the soft curls. 

"It's okay," Jim continued to say softly. 

Blair gently pushed himself away from Jim. He wiped his eyes with his hands. "I don't know what happened to him Jim. All I know is that we're here...now." 

Jim took his husband into his arms and held him close. "And that's all that matters, love." 

Blair smiled inside the embrace. "I'm so glad I found you Jim." 

**THE END**

* * *

End My Heart is on That Ship. 


End file.
